Sabbatical Focus

April 6, 2010

I sat in the chapel for evening prayers.  The Christ candle was in a prominent position but it did not appear to be lit.  It was so tall, it was hard to tell.  The tiny, short Sister Amelia who always lights and extinguishes all the candles was watching nervously.  Finally, Sister Maureen entered.  Short Sister Amelia quickly took her the candle lighter.  She needed a tall Sister to light the Christ candle.  Tall Sister Maureen could not get it lit.  She could not see the top, where was the wick?  Was it lit? 

I found myself wondering if Jesus was ever hard to light.  Did he ever run out of gas?  Did he ever get so run down, so exhausted that no flame could be seen?

I remember the story when he eats with the Phoenician woman and basically tells her to get the crumbs after the dogs have finished.  Really rude.  I think he was tired.  What he said was right and true to his understanding but he was too exhausted to be delicate or tactful.

I remember Jesus tossing over the tables in the temple.  When I am run down and tired one of the fist signs is that my temper flares.  The second sign is that I forget appointments.  Jesus flew off the handle at the money changers.  Again, he was correct theologically, but he was rather harsh and out of character.  It really makes me feel better.

So my question is answered.  Just like the Christ candle, Jesus was hard to light sometimes.  He could get tired and run down.  So I think about that as I begin this sabbatical- this Clergy Renewal Program funded by the church’s one foundation, Lilly.

I am wondering if God has an answer for this exhaustion that comes from ministry.  Before I can think about that we are singing a Psalm and I sing the lines from Psalm 20:5- “May he grant what is in your heart, and fulfill your every plan.”

I am confident that God will restore and grant and fulfill during this sabbatical time.  My job is to be open to that.  God’s job is to make it happen.  That brings me comfort on day two of sabbatical.

By the way, Sister Luke took the candle off the stand and lowered it to where the others could see and it was finally lit.