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August 10, 2014

That Sinking Feeling

Last week we heard that Jesus had experienced a personal loss.

He wanted to be alone.

to pray

to think

to heal

but instead he ended up serving dinner to 5000 people

and giving the disciples a lesson in God’s generosity.

 

Today’s lesson picks up after the dinner.

Jesus tries again to find some alone time.

He sends the 5000 away.

He puts the disciples on a boat and sends them across Lake Galilee.

These are guys who grew up on or near the Lake. This should be relaxing for them.

Vincent Van Gogh once said, “The fishermen know that the sea is dangerous and the storm terrible, but they have never found these dangers sufficient reason for remaining ashore.”

 

So while Jesus goes up the mountain to pray, they set sail across the Lake.

 

Soon a storm comes up.

Waves batter the boat.

You know what it feels like to be battered-

pushed off course

pelted by painful situations

injured by an unexpected occurrence

tried by the sickness or death of someone you love

beaten down by influences outside of your control.

 

The wind was against them-

you’ve been there

you take one step forward and then you’re pushed three steps back

it requires all your energy just to keep your footing

no matter how hard you try you don’t seem to make any headway.

You can’t help your child who is suffering deep inside.

You trying mend a relationship and it just flares up again.

You can’t out run those destructive behaviors in your own life.

You’ve had moments like that

days like that

weeks like that

years like that?

 

And don’t forget, it was about 3:00 am

you know how awful everything looks in the middle of the night

as you second guess yourself

turning your regrets over in your head

imagining the worst

you are anxious, afraid, terrified,

sorry you ever agreed to get in that stupid boat in the first place

why did I take that job?

Why did I marry that person?

Why wasn’t I more careful?

What did she mean by that?

Why do I feel so alone and afraid?

 

We have all experienced storms of one kind or another.

 

That is what it was like for the disciples

and it the midst of all that

in the storm and the wind and the rain and the fog

they see a ghost

someone or something out there- walking toward them- on the water

 

Is there any reason they should not have been terrified?

Sometimes fear is the only sensible response to the situation at hand.

 

Then out of the storm they hear a voice

“Take heart. Have no fear. It is I.”

Easy to hear, hard to believe.

 

But Peter, recognizing the voice, calls out “Lord!”

He gets it. He knows who it is.

He senses that they are going to be OK.

Or does he?

 

Because he goes on, “If it is you, command me to come to you.”

IF it is you

“Isn’t that what we all do?

We can be going through the most frightening and terrifying times of our lives,

and Christ could be right in front of us saying, ‘Don’t be afraid. I am here,’

but we want proof.

No matter how much we want to believe it, we still test the waters-

we still say things like

OK God if it is you give me a sign,

no, another sign,

just one more sign.” (theologicalstew.com)

 

And it is not just his “if”.

He says IF it is you command me to come to you.

I want to be sure you are going to do your part.

Convince me once again that you are real.

If you command me- you take away my choice.

I’m just doing what I was told to do.

 

In a previous job I had a secretary like that.

I would propose in staff meeting that it would be helpful if everyone did such and such.

She would immediately look up and ask- is that a suggestion or an order?

I learned quickly that she did not respond to suggestions.

She was not about to change anything

or risk anything

unless it was absolutely required-

then if it didn’t work out, she could always blame it on me.

 

Jesus issues the command, “Come.”

Peter leaves the boat and starts walking on the water.

But he is quickly distracted by the wind and the storm

and the realization that humans cannot in fact walk on the water

and he sinks.

Jesus immediately reaches out and saves him,

asking, Peter, O you of little faith, why did you doubt?

 

I have problems with the interpretation

that this story is about Peter and his faith.

If it were we would hear Jesus’ question as a rebuke-

Oh you of little faith, you wimp, why did you doubt, you weak willed imbecile?

 

But this is Jesus who already told him a little faith is enough to move mountain.

Jesus said all we need is faith the size of a teeny, tiny mustard seed.

This is Jesus who just gave Peter and the other disciples the power to feed 5000 people.

 

If this story is about Peter’s faith

that means Peter was a failure

and it would mean that when the storms of life over take us

we are failures, too.

 

If our faith were only stronger we could conquer all our fears.

If we only had more belief we could accomplish whatever we attempt.

If anything bad or harmful happens to me it is because I don’t have enough faith.

I just don’t believe that.

 

I don’t think this story is ultimately about Peter lack of faith, or our.

I think it is about God and God’s faithfulness.

A God, who in Jesus

offers us a sense of safety and security so deep

that we can walk out of our anxiety and fear,

who offers us a love and compassion so buoyant

that we can float through the waves that batter us,

who offers us his presence in any storm

and stretches out a hand to catch us when we start to fall.

 

The reality is disciples will always be frail mixtures of devotion and doubt.

 

So today, I am not going to ask you to prove your faith and walk on water,

I am not even asking you to believe that Peter or Jesus walked on the water.

“But I am asking you- (as Joanna Adams wrote Journal for Preachers, Pentecost 1996)

to at least entertain the possibility

that there is one who is present in the fiercest storms

and in the darkest nights,

one who will not let you sink,

not now, not ever.

If you get to the place where you can believe a little thing like that

it will be the miracle of your life.

I am convinced that miracles like that happen every day.”

 

Thanks be to God.

Amen.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


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