July 6, 2014
Why Can't I Stop?
- Romans 7:15-25
- Dr. Teri Thomas
Can you imagine Paul writing those words?
The great apostle?
SAINT Paul!
Paul who always sets himself up as an example;
Paul who is so demanding when it comes to our behavior;
Paul with his holier than Thou attitude?
Paul shouts out in this morning’s reading-
Wretched man that I am
I do not do what I want to do
but instead I do what I hate.
This is a pretty risky bit of self-disclosure here.
He is admitting he is flawed.
He is acknowledging his own failure.
It almost sounds as though he is attending a 12 Step Program-
Hi, my name is Paul and I am addicted to sin.
The word he uses for his sin is hamartia
It is a term used in archery for missing the mark,
falling short of the goal.
So after chapters of a complex theological lecture on our faithfulness and righteousness
Paul suddenly moves into the first person
and he shares a painful, inner struggle,
a struggle I believe most of us can understand.
Since Ruth announced in her sermon last week
that I am better at sin than she is, let’s see.
Sin is when we replace God
with something or someone else in our lives.
When we continue searching for meaning
or for comfort
in whatever we have chosen
the result is an addiction of spirit.
We try to fill the void in our lives that only God can fill.
For many, that spiritual addiction will become a physical addiction as well.
I am willing to bet that every person here today can relate to this in a very personal way.
- "I'm going on a diet this Monday for sure!"
- "From now on, I am going to slow down and enjoy life more!"
- "This is my last drink!"
- "No matter how much they beg, I am going to say 'no' this time!"
- "Okay, I will help you one last time - but this is it for sure!"
Paul is describing this struggle between knowledge and action.
He says clearly that he believes the law of God is a good thing.
Yet, he finds himself unable to conduct his life in accordance with the law.
Knowing and doing are worlds apart.
When we struggle with addiction we know what it is like.
"I want to stop... I know it is the right thing to stop..."
but something in me compels me to do what is wrong...
there is a war inside of me!"
Most of us have been or are currently addicted to something-
we think of addicts as alcoholics or drug users.
But we can also be addicted to food
money
porn
tobacco
work
sports
the internet
If we are using it to fill the place of God in our life
and we cannot seem to stop…
it is an addiction.
Soon the addiction becomes part of our identity-
how we see our self.
Then we try to stop and fail.
We ease the shame of that failure by diving even deeper into our substance or behavior of choice.
Augustine referred to this as habit’s harsh bondage.
As we make choices,
our choices begin to modify what we desire,
how we think, and what gives us pleasure;
our choices gradually shape habits,
and the habits change who we are.
Reason pulls us toward health and wholeness and God.
But desire pulls us in the opposite direction.
The addiction escapes our control.
Eventually it becomes a God to us.
We want it to save us,
and it cannot.
Augustine found release from his bondage to habit
in God’s severe grace.
Paul asks- Who will rescue me
and his own response is Jesus Christ.
They both knew we cannot free ourselves.
Addiction experts today steer us away from self-help.
The key to recovery is not will-power
rather it is admitting we are in fact powerless
over the substance, or behavior that is holding us captive.
We find freedom
when we can let God fill God’s place in our lives.
But we can’t do that alone either.
We all get so invested in perfection;
we want perfect looks
perfect homes,
perfect kids,
perfect jobs.
Our failures or our losses are sources of shame.
We feel we need to keep them private, hidden.
“Never let them see you sweat.”
But you know what?
We all sweat.
God knows it.
Paul knew it.
Augustine knew it.
Every person in a 12 step recovery program knows it.
It is not about being weak or lazy or not trying hard enough.
It is about needing help,
help from God and help from others.
We all tend to believe that our personal failure is worse than anyone else’s.
But scripture is pretty clear on this one,
Sure, you are a screw-up- but so is everyone else.
And God knows that and loves us anyway.
And Jesus promises in today’s reading from Matthew
“Come to me, all you that are weary and are carrying heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.
Rest is not offered to the strong and powerful.
Rest is offered to the weary.
Those who recognize their need will have their burdens lifted
and will find peace.
Who will rescue me?
Who will rescue you?
Who will rescue us from whatever holds us captive?
Paul says it-
Thanks be to God, through our Lord Jesus Christ.
Amen.
Resources:
Habit’s Harsh Bondage, a Christian reflection from Center for Christian Ethics of Baylor University, 2002.
Feasting on the Word, Pentecost Vol. 2, Ordinary 14A.
Alcoholics Anonymous: The Big Book, 4th Edition by Anonymous, 2002.
“The Knowing Better Syndrome”. http://www.lectionarysermons.com/july_7.02.htm